Turn Major Life Events into Family History Moments

May 22, 2017 By Angie Lucas

Many of the most meaningful and important moments in our lives can be recognized only in hindsight, like that chance meeting that eventually led to an engagement ring, that one classroom lesson that started you on a lifelong career path, or the random recipe you tried one night that turned into a long-standing family tradition.

There are other moments that you know from the beginning are going to be important and transformative. Some you anticipate for years, like a wedding, the birth of a child, an anniversary, or a milestone birthday. Others, such as a funeral, may be less welcome and anticipated, but no less life-changing. All these events will be recorded in your memory and reminisced about for years to come. They are the threads from which family history tapestries are woven.

If we approach them mindfully, these major life events can provide wonderful opportunities to make larger connections to family heritage and ancestry. Here are three ideas for doing just that.

1. Create a Wedding Heritage Display

Marriage is about more than the joining of two people; it also links entire families together, reaching back generations. Thus, a wedding celebration is the perfect time to acknowledge and celebrate this joyous multigenerational union that surely sparks rejoicing in heaven as well as on earth.

When my husband and I married in 2004, we kept the decorations at our reception fairly simple. But there was one display that meant more to me than almost anything else in the room. On a table near the entrance, I arranged a series of matching frames that contained three generations of wedding photos.

In the center was our engagement photo, flanked by our parents’ wedding photos: Donald and Beverly Lucas, married in 1959, and Janet and Jeff Hill, married in 1973. On either side of those photos stood the wedding pictures of Donald’s parents (1922), Beverly’s parents (1932), Jeff’s parents (1941), and Janet’s parents (1947). Many of our guests were drawn to this simple display, which illustrated how the joining of six young couples over the course of 51 years eventually led to this particular moment. Without each of them, there would have been no celebration that day.

After displaying these heritage wedding photos in our bedroom for years, I eventually preserved them in a keepsake album that includes names, dates, and places for each marriage.

Try It Yourself

The next time there’s a wedding in the family, hunt down ancestral wedding photos from both the bride’s and the groom’s families and present them as a gift—either framed or inside a simple album, with room for the bride and groom to add their own wedding photo at the end. You might find some of the wedding photos you need by searching your family tree on FamilySearch.org. To access photos from the other half of the wedding party, however, you’ll have to recruit a member of that family to search their online family tree.

2. Make a Collective Keepsake at a Milestone Birthday or Anniversary Party

When my in-laws celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 2009, they opted for a low-key backyard barbecue, with just their children and grandchildren in attendance. To make the day extra special for them, we created a memory book at the event and sent it home with them.

My husband took a picture of each attendee, and we printed the photos on the spot using a personal photo printer. We handed each person a 5×7-inch card, and asked them to share a treasured memory of Don and Bev or a note of love and thanks. Their kids, grandkids, and in-laws wrote about family trips, harrowing bike rides down steep Carnation Drive, memorable injuries, visiting Bev when she worked in the gift wrap department of the old ZCMI, countless hours spent eating and chatting on the patio, and the thoughtful gifts Don and Bev would drop off, just because.

We paired each person’s photo with their handwritten card and slipped the photos and cards inside a photo album to present to the honored couple. On the first page of the book, we placed their original wedding photo next to a photo of just the two of them taken at the party, 50 years to the day later.

Try It Yourself

1. This idea works equally well for a milestone birthday party. We created similar albums (on a much larger scale) for my grandma and grandpa on their 80th birthdays.
2. Put one person (probably you) in charge of collecting the photos and memories during the event. If you ask people to bring something in advance or expect them to follow up after the fact, you’ll find that they don’t all do their part.
3. Instead of individual portraits, make sure each person takes a photo with the guest of honor, so everyone has a recent picture of themselves with their parent or grandparent.
4. Try this idea using a Polaroid camera (yes, they still exist) or a Fujifilm Instax, which take and print photos instantly. Have each person tape or glue their picture inside a spiral-bound journal or art journal with heavier-weight pages (can be found at big box stores), and write a memory next to the picture.
5. Use your smartphone to take the pictures, and print them on the spot using a mini wireless photo printerdesigned for that purpose.
6. Have everyone upload their photos and memories to Instagram or another social-media app using the same hashtag (such as #donbevlucas50th).
7. Capture audio recordings of each person’s memories using the FamilySearch Memories app.
8. If you create a physical keepsake, scan or photograph each page to upload to the guest of honor’s profile on FamilySearch’s Memories.

3. Preserve Precious Memories Shared at a Funeral

When my beloved grandmother Neva Turner Nielsen passed away earlier this year, just shy of her 88th birthday, my sorrow was lifted and tempered by the many moments of family love and unity I witnessed. As I sat in the chapel listening to my Aunt Diane deliver a life sketch, I heard several tidbits and stories I had never heard before, including these:

1. As a child, Grandma used to dress the barn cats in doll clothes and try to sneak them into the house, despite the fact that they would be flung by their tails out the back door and over the lilac bush if her mom ever spotted them in the house.
2. At age 12, she had to take over all the ironing (using a heavy old flat iron heated on the stove), housework, and cooking (including feeding large hay crews on the farm) for two months after her mom broke her shoulder in a car accident.
3. She attended her first high school dance with my grandpa on September 17, 1943—and they got married four years to the day later.
4. She served as the LDS seminary president during her senior year of high school, on top of being on the drill team and student council.

Not wanting these and other details to get lost to history, I asked my aunt to send me a copy of her remarks so I could post them on my grandma’s profile on Family Tree.

As is the case at many funerals, there were also tables overflowing with memorabilia from Grandma’s life—precious pictures and keepsakes that would likely be divided among her four daughters. After the mourners dispersed, I took the time to document the contents of those tables using my smartphone. Despite my best intentions, I knew I would never get around to borrowing these original photos from my aunts in order to take them home and scan them. So I did the next best thing. I photographed the complete displays and took close-ups of individual pictures, briefly removing some from their frames to do so. (To be honest, a photo taken on a smartphone often can’t be distinguished from one that has been scanned.)

I posted several of these pictures on my Facebook page for our fellow family members to enjoy, and I also uploaded them to Family Tree, where they’ll be accessible to all of Grandma’s posterity.

Try It Yourself

Depending on your emotional state at the time of the funeral, see if you can listen for tidbits and details that are new to you about your loved one, so you can make sure these stories are preserved for future generations. Maybe even ask for a copy of the life sketch after the funeral, so you can keep it for your own records or post it to Family Tree. Take a moment to photograph the photo displays for the same purpose.

Bonus idea: After attending the funeral of a family friend, Wendy Smedley of Centerville, Utah, offered to collect all of the tributes posted to the woman’s Facebook page and upload them to Family Tree—with permission and access granted by the family, of course. Sometimes being just outside the inner circle will make you the perfect person to perform this kind of service. Immediate family members will often be too overwhelmed and grief-stricken, and they’ll appreciate this small but simple act that can impact generations to come.

Note: This article was found on the FamilySearch Blog.

Notes from Linnea:  I remember well the wedding luncheon for my nephew Brandon Cardon.  His mother had decorated the tables with photos of not only the bride and groom, but wedding pictures of their ancestors (parents and grandparents) so that everyone could be present to celebrate even though they had passed on.  She did this quite inexpensively by purchasing frames from the dollar store and making copies of the original prints.

When David's parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, the invitation contained a picture of their wedding day next to a current photo.  We also had a large group photo taken at the event with all of their descendants present.

Margene Goff, from my ward, had the most wonderful display at her funeral featuring things she loved to do such as sew, sing, and quilt.  Even though I wasn't family, I took pictures because it is something I would want my family to do for me.  (The next thing to do would be to load those photos to her memories on FamilySearch!)

get to know your cousins...

My parents are converts.  We don't have any pioneer ancestors ... or so I thought.  Then I got a message from family search:

You have a pioneer ancestor whose sacrifice and legacy lives on. Discover and connect with that ancestor on a pioneer page created just for you.

I was curious.  So I checked out Franklin Spencer:

Franklin's surname at birth was Perkins. He served as a Lieut. Colonel in the Confederate Army and was accused (falsely he says) of destroying a railroad bridge and thus causing the deaths of many Union soldiers. Under indictment, he changed his name to Franklin Spencer and fled west to Colorado. Here he encountered Mormon literature and in 1864 traveled to Utah with his wife Sarah Jane. Both of them converted to the faith.

I've never heard of him.  How were we related?  I checked out the link provided by family search.  He was found on my mother's side.  (go back 10 generation and down 6.  He would have been a contemporary with Sarah Kellam - the one who gave me the doll cradle.)  Who knew!

It reminds me of my nephew Matt Smith who was in a math class in college.  He got along so well with another one of his classmates.  He didn't learn until halfway through the year that they were actually second cousins!  (His mom used to attend those reunions before he was born.)

Those same unknown cousins have valuable information about family lines that have departed from the main branch you focus on.  Get in contact with them.  I have found my own cousins very willing to share information and pictures about their families and descendants.  You never know who you will find!

Want to learn more about the pioneers for the 24th of July.  Check out this page produced by the Church History Library.

answer a question - build a history

Family History in a Jar There are many creative ways to capture and pay tribute to family stories that could easily be forgotten. One approach that an Ancestry genealogist took, was to fill a mason jar with questions for her father-in-law, a quiet man who rarely spoke about his own life. Each week he visited, she would pull out a question and record the answer in a notebook, eventually having enough details to put together a book of memories for her husband and siblings. His experiences as a Marine—who served in two different wars, were filled with stories his own children had never heard. Give it a try and see what unknown family stories come to light.

Father's Day lesson

Forefather’s Day

(Ann Alldredge, Ensign, June 2003, p 73)

 “When I learned that my son and daughter-in-law were coming to dinner with their four children to celebrate Father’s Day with me, I reflected sadly that they had not known my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, who were now deceased.  They were good men who had been wonderful examples of faith and character.  “All we have left are their pictures,” I mused.  Then an idea flashed to mind.  “Pictures – that’s it!”  I took framed pictures of my father and grandfathers off the walls and gathered all the pictures I could find in the photo albums.  Then, on the dining room table, I created a display of the pictures and added a placard that read, “Honour the father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12).

“When my grandchildren arrived for dinner, I was happy to see that even at their young ages, they were interested in their ancestors.  I told them who each one was, where he had been born, and whatever I knew about him.  The afternoon brought a wonderful feeling as we honored our fathers and grandfathers on their special day.”

“Don’t forget me”

“My dear and beloved godfather and my dear uncles and aunts, I beg you to never forget me because I think of you always. ...  I haven’t had the joy to know you but I look at your portraits and I would like to be able to talk to you in person.  Dear family and friends, I greet you from the bottom of my heart.  For life. 

Your niece Marie Rivor widow Gonet.

I close this letter with the tears that wet this page and beg you to not forget me.”

(Anne’s oldest daughter, Marie, Italy)

This passage is made even more poignant when you realize that Marie only had one child who lived to maturity.  Her son, Jean Michel Gonnet, married but had no children.  Marie had two more Gonnet children, Jacques who died at age 1 and Marie Alice who died at age 4.  Then her husband died.  She remarried and had a son Alberto who died at age 3 and her second husband died, too.  Marie married a third time and was widowed again.  She died in Italy in 1931 at age 80.  Her greatest desire, since infancy, was to one day join the Cardons in America.  She was Father Philippe and Mother Marie’s first grandchild, whom they last saw at age 3 as they left for Utah.

Bridges and Eternal Keepsakes

Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander, of the Seventy

Ensign, May 1999, 83

“Genealogies, family stories, historical accounts, and traditions...form a bridge between past and future and bind generations together in ways that no other keepsake can.”

Every family has keepsakes. Families collect furniture, books, porcelain, and other valuable things, then pass them on to their posterity. Such beautiful keepsakes remind us of loved ones now gone and turn our minds to loved ones unborn. They form a bridge between family past and family future.

Every family has other, more valuable, keepsakes. These include genealogies, family stories, historical accounts, and traditions. These eternal keepsakes also form a bridge between past and future and bind generations together in ways that no other keepsake can.

I would like to share a few thoughts about family history, bridges, and eternal keepsakes.

Family history builds bridges between the generations of our families. Bridges between generations are not built by accident. Each member of this Church has the personal responsibility to be an eternal architect of this bridge for his or her own family. At one of our family gatherings this past Christmas, I watched my father, who is 89 years old, and our oldest grandchild, Ashlin, who is four and a half. They enjoyed being together. This was a bittersweet moment of realization for me. Though Ashlin will retain pleasant but fleeting memories of my father, he will have no memory of my mother, who passed away before his birth. Not one of my children has any recollection of my grandparents. If I want my children and grandchildren to know those who still live in my memory, then I must build the bridge between them. I alone am the link to the generations that stand on either side of me. It is my responsibility to knit their hearts together through love and respect, even though they may never have known each other personally. My grandchildren will have no knowledge of their family’s history if I do nothing to preserve it for them. That which I do not in some way record will be lost at my death, and that which I do not pass on to my posterity, they will never have. The work of gathering and sharing eternal family keepsakes is a personal responsibility. It cannot be passed off or given to another.

A life that is not documented is a life that within a generation or two will largely be lost to memory. What a tragedy this can be in the history of a family. Knowledge of our ancestors shapes us and instills within us values that give direction and meaning to our lives. Some years ago, I met the director of a Russian Orthodox monastery. He showed me volumes of his own extensive family research. He told me that one of the values, perhaps even the main value, of genealogy is the establishment of family tradition and the passing of these traditions on to younger generations. “Knowledge of these traditions and family history,” he said, “welds generations together.” Further, he told me: “If one knows he comes from honest ancestors, he is duty and honor bound to be honest. One cannot be dishonest without letting each member of his family down.”

It is my desire that each of us will recognize the great keepsakes we have received from those who preceded us and our own personal responsibility to pass them on to future generations.”

Father’s Day family home evening

When food assignments for the Father’s Day gathering were being handed out, I made the mistake of saying I’d never made a coleslaw salad before.  Instead of giving me a recipe, I got a new assignment: the family home evening lesson.

I decided to focus on the fathers as far back as I could go – 6 generations.  Philippe was born in 1801.  He has 35 memories attached.  His son Louis Philippe had 13.  His grandson Joseph Samuel had 14.  Joseph Harold had 16 memories, but not one story!  He died in 1992.  He was David’s grandfather, and although I had never met him personally, I had written up a tribute about him to include in David’s father’s life history which I compiled.  There were 80 copies of that book printed and bound, but that would not be enough for even Dick’s living posterity to each have one.  The solution: I copied that tribute and put it under life sketch on Joseph Harold’s detail page so that every interested person could know about this great man.  All it cost was a few minutes of my time.

I love how I can learn things from people I’ve never met.  In prepping for today’s lesson I read a story about Joseph Samuel Cardon:

He was living in Taylor, Arizona.  At that time Geronimo, the renegade Indian Chief who was the terror of the Western country had just broken away from Fort Apache, Arizona.  With a band of Indian braves and a few squaws he was swearing to kill every white man he could find. One evening when the Cardons were kneeling around the campfire engaged in prayer, Geronimo and his band saw them and were afraid to attack them because of the wrath of the Great Spirit.

Prayer was an important principle in their lives.  If you read on in his son Junis’ history, he talks about moving to Mexico:

He was only about 6 or 7 when his Mother became very ill. She was so sick that her life hung by a thread. There had been prayers that were offered for her recovery and she had been administered to by the Elders of the Church, but it seemed that she might go any time. She opened her eyes and looked toward heaven, then cried out "Oh, Father if I can only live until my children are grown, I will be willing to go.” A change came over her, she was instantly healed and the next morning she got up and dressed herself and took up the duties as a Mother to her children. She was a loving noble mother who very devotedly taught her children the Gospel. She taught them to pray, instilled faith in their hearts, taught them to be polite, courteous, unselfish and thoughtful of others. Traits of character that has always stayed with them. (Junius says his first prayers were learned at his Mother's knee and he cannot remember of ever doubting that he knows that his Heavenly Father is there just as such as if he could see Him or reach out and touch Him.)

documenting artifacts

I was on a photo shoot with Diane Linford this past week showing elderly ladies how to use shotbox to upload photos quickly and easily to their memories in family tree.  I mentioned it could also be used to take photos of 3 dimensional objects.

Artifacts can be great sources for stories.

Most of us tend to collect stuff - either because it is useful or sentimental.  When we die, so do all the memories of why we had what we had in the first place.

If you have a family heirloom that has been passed down for centuries, take a photo, write a description, explain why it is important to you.  If your descendants don't know the history behind an item, it will have little value to them.
(example: the doll cradle)

I have here a baby doll cradle.  The kids may recognize it as being the manger where baby Jesus lays at Christmastime.

Maybe Emma will recognize it from this photo.

See Emma.  See how cute and tiny she is in a baby doll cradle.

Why does Linnea have that doll cradle?

history of the doll cradle

Sarah Ellen Bittner was born June 15, 1873 in Brothersvalley Township, Somerset County, Pennsylvania. She had an older sister Susan (who died at age 3) and an older sister Minnie (who died at age 10). Her younger brothers Charles and Milton died at age 2 and 9, respectively while her older brother Elmer lived to be 17. Thus of her parents’ 7 children, only 2 lived to be adults: Sarah and her older brother Benjamin. When Sarah was a child she received a hand-made doll cradle. While we know the cherry or chestnut dresser she received for a wedding gift was made by her Uncle Zachary Bittner, it is unknown who made the cradle or at exactly what age she received it – though we assume she was a child because it is made to put doll babies in not real children. Sarah married just two months before her 18th birthday. She had 7 daughters and 2 sons (although her first son died before he was a month old and her second son was killed in a tragic car accident when he was 20.) Rather than give the doll cradle to one of her own daughters, Sarah decided to give it to her first granddaughter: Ethel Mae Filby (born Sep 28, 1914). Ethel decided to continue the tradition and did not give the doll cradle to her only daughter Susan, but instead her first granddaughter Linnea Ruth Huber inherited the cradle. Linnea is pictured here with the doll cradle (Christmas 1967) when she is one year old. Grandmother Ethel Jurvic is sitting behind her. In turn, Linnea gave birth to seven daughters and 2 sons – just like Sarah. But in keeping with tradition, Linnea is waiting to see who has the first granddaughter. (Heidi Lyn Tews born to AnnElyse.) Even though the cradle is meant for doll babies, Linnea couldn’t resist taking a picture of her own daughter in the cradle: Emma (2010). Note: Linnea made the bowl and pitcher used as props in that photo. They are not antiques.

searching for clues

The more you know about a person, the more likely you will be to recognize their record when you see it.

1. Name
a. How is it spelled? variations?
b. abbreviations: Wm for William, Chas for Charles, Geo for George
c. is there a story behind the name? (why I was named Linnea)
d. jr, sr (helps you recognize the next generation)
e. do they have a middle name? What is it? (If you only know the first letter, write it down. It will help you pick them out from all the others with the same first name.)
f. What are the names of their mother and father? brothers and sisters? (find family members in census records, marriage records, birth records, obituaries, etc. Keep attaching records and adding names. You are getting to know their family. You are being given information line upon line so you won't miss crucial information when you see it later on.)  

Example of Frederick Stumpf LTC6-MHX: I know the Ortman line pretty well - I've even been to Germany to research it. The temple work has all been done for the parents and children.  But I noticed that the son John had a wife with no parents listed.  All of her work was done except sealing to parents.  How could I find them?
Someone else had attached a copy of her death certificate (because it proves the date she died.)  When I viewed the document I also noticed that it gave the names of her parents and where they were born.  (The mother only had a first initial and a maiden name - which was hard to decipher, but a discovered her unmarried sister living with them in the 1880 census and THAT handwriting was easy to read!)  I'd found the mother, but she was already widowed.  I had to look for an earlier census to find the husband.  He is in the 1870 census with the wife and 2 kids.  I noticed a 30 year age gap between husband and wife.  Had I not seen that, I would have assumed the tombstone I found later on belonged to a different generation and was not the same person.  He had a different wife listed on the tombstone.  Note the death date.  She dies and then the other kids are born to the second wife.  Their story is starting to come together piece by piece!

Now that I've found them, what do I do? Request the temple work, silly!  (Click to reserve.  Add the name to the stack.  Plan a trip to the temple and ask the kids to bring their friends along.)


2. date

a. when were they born (census gives approximate year. draft record gives birth date as does birth record, social security death record, find a grave)


3. place
a. look for where they were born (in census records)

b. where were their parents born? (this will help you sift through others with similar names.)

other helpful information:
occupation - a distinguishing feature
who are their neighbors in the census record?  They just might be related!
do they have any relatives living with them in a census year?

"You are about to start something here that you don't fully appreciate, but you will grow to love it."
(comment from the ordinance worker in the confirmation room as the Andrus boys and Cardon girls finished up a batch of  my family names.)
Saw Bishop Booth working at the temple,  Jeff asked, "Is this part of your class?"
"You bet," I replied, "We're going to get through these names."  I had a stack for baptisms of which we did 25. But when I went upstairs to the family file, I found a stack of my names 1 inch thick in endowments waiting to be done!

Rubik's Cube Genealogy: A New Twist on Your Old Data

Presenter: Elissa Scalise Powell, CG, CGL

The three dimensions in genealogy are Name, Time, and Place. You should be able to pinpoint records for a particular person knowing these three “coordinates.” As you twist the dimensions in different ways, new or previously unseen patterns emerge in your family history.